I had lunch yesterday with someone who would like to have something different happen in her life. As I was listening to her speak, I thought to myself, this is a perfect time to practice what I've been learning. So I asked her some questions she'd not been asked before, and meandered in her company as she explored her map in ways she had not explored it explored it before, and then asked The Question: "And what would you like to have happen?" And when she told me, I said, I can help you with that. She got this look on her face, and said, I can tell this is going to cost a lot of money. And I shrugged and said, the cost isn't relevant at this point. And for the first time, I believed that. It felt odd and good at the same time, and I just sat with it for a moment, savoring it. Meanwhile, she persisted. What will this cost? she asked.  For reasons I will explain in a later post, I could honestly tell her that I have no idea what it will cost. But even had I known, even had it been me deciding the cost, I could have - and would have - told her that the cost didn't matter at that point, that the only thing that mattered at that point was the fact that she could have a different experience of life, one that ever more closely matches who she truly is and desires to become in the world.  

I won't go into details because they are both confidential and irrelevant. What mattered was this: I have been holding the idea of sales as an act of service and contribution to others and the (far more suspect) idea of leveraging them beyond their limitations in my mind since the first telecast, checking them for ecology,  pondering them. But I hadn't held them in my body at all. I hadn't stepped into them or worn them around because I didn't trust the second one, the leveraging one. It sounded sneaky to me, to be honest. But when the opportunity opened, I saw so clearly how I could do this, and I stepped right into those two beliefs. I stepped all the way in. And when I did, something shifted in me, in her, and in the relationship between us. This is going to sound really weird, but somehow, from that place, I knew her heart. I knew what she wanted and could speak it back to her.  There came a moment when she took her business card out and pushed it across the table to me. By then, I had released my attachment to her decision and her outcome, and I'm not sure how I did that, either, except that it happened in the same way that knowing her heart happened, in the field created by both intentions: service and contribution and leveraging her beyond her limitations. And the key to the leveraging was not my beliefs or values, but hers. The reality is, I held the space for her, and she leveraged herself at least to the point of asking for more information, of opening to possibility.  

My purpose is to co-create new worlds. It sounds pretty big until one realizes how flexible it is. Every time a child learns to tie his shoelaces, he becomes more competent in the world, more powerful. His world changes, and so does mine. When this woman has made the shift within herself that she desires and is capable of, her world is going to change, and so will mine. New worlds are created mind by mind, heart by heart, life by life, relationship by relationship. I am awed by what happened yesterday. And my heart is at peace about the leveraging. Archimedes said, “Give me a place to stand and a lever long enough and I will move the world.”  I understand now that we are simply directing someone's attention to the solid ground of their own being and the length and strength of their own levers, and then bearing witness as they move their own world by their own power.

It's something to do with a life.

Thinking about Turtles All the Way Down, there at the end, when Grinder emphasizes the power of what they've been learning and practicing, and the ecology involved in returning to a community of people from whom they are now fundamentally different, at least in the skills they have access to, and the congruence and power available to them in the demon state - a term I like a whole lot better - because it is so much more accurate - to my thinking - than the watered down 'genius state.'

Anyway - also reading Feldenkrais's The Potent Self, pgs 20-21 - paragraphing mine - italics his:

"The ideal conscious action corresponds to a clearly recognized unique motivation. The conscious act is monomotivated, and the skill of acting consists in acquiring the ability of inhibiting and excluding all the parasitic elements that tend to enact themselves by habit, conditioning, and stereotyped motion.

Most of the time we fail to achieve what we want by enacting more thn we are aware of, rather than by missing what is essential. This is particularly true in learning new skills. One tenses and enacts a considerable number of unnecessary and contradicting elements of action; only later on does one appreciate how much more one did than what was actually wanted.

One could swim straight away if one could eliminate all the parasitic acts and perform only those movements that propel one in the direction wished. The expert swimmer produces only those movements that are wanted, and herein lies his skill. His action corresponds to the clear motivation and to that only.

In the learning stage, a number of habitual and faintly recognized motivations enact themselves. The essential in learning is to become able to recognize these unwanted faint motivations and to discard them.

The importance of having one clear, recognized motivation, and of being able to inhibit or discard those that tend to enact themselves through habitual mannerisms, can be brought home on examining any of our acts that tdo not bring the intended results - or, better still, those that just barely succeed or are more or less a failure. We will always find ourselves enacting extraneous motivations that are due to habit and formed attitude."

One  aspect of changework that used to be deeply satisfying to me was the ability to help those I love, both family and friends. I spent thousands of dollars and hours on training, books, cds, downloads, coaching, and practice so that I could get ever better at what I do and help my significant others even more. The help itself was always free, because I could not see my way to charge money for my deepest gifts, and I often donated travel time and costs, as well, because I usually went to my helpees instead of asking them to come to me.

Then I started the Apprenticeship Program and things began to move in unexpected directions. For one, "helping" people no longer satisfied, as it mirrored back to me relationships based on dependency and bandaids. Service and contribution felt better to me in my body - tall, strong, sturdy, and both calm and eager at the same time. For another, "free" grew dimmer and smaller as the connection between money and spirituality grew brighter and bigger. Dissonance appeared where before there had been subdued harmony, and before long, I found myself in divine disorder, charting the strange seas of an emergent self, plumbing new depths of congruence, happiness, curiosity, and personal satisfaction (and making long lists of nominalizations). Along the way, I created two very distinct categories - friend and client - each with its own submodalities and criteria for relationship. And I learned that I don't charge friends for changework because I don't do changework with friends. I do changework with clients, and I charge them for it. The change has been something of a shock for some of my friends, but we're figuring it out together, which is something friends can do when they've a mind to.
   

My mom is a former tennis player, golfer, softball player - super athlete in her day - and I remember her going on and on and on about the follow through - follow through on the stroke, meaning, the stroke does not end when the ball is contacted, but way further along, back behind her somewhere.

So yesterday I finally had my first sales meeting, and it went okay, not great, the person is interested, wants more information, is open to talking to her peeps - and then I go home and don't know what to do next. So then I realized, that's what the flow chart does  - it shows the path of the stroke all the way through to the end of the swing.

Downloaded above article and read it twice - then read it again. Then identified every area of my life in which I desire to have the experience of enough money - whatever that means to my deep body mind - enough, a gracious plenty, to live the life I have come here to live. Did Circle of Excellence in each area and oh my goodness - who knew I had so much space available for more happiness? and so I'm doing more of that and also saying my little mantra (I am a sales professional 1st, 2nd, 3rd (turtles) all the way down), and challenging myself to discover how deep I can see/hear/feel the joy, curiosity, and satisfaction in that and all else that I am learning and becoming.